Monday, November 25, 2013

Infatuation vs Love?

What's below is the answer I wrote to a question elsewhere on the Internet. The question was "What's the Difference Between Infatuation and Love?"

The difficulty with this question is that both these words are sometimes used by different people to mean different things.

"Love" means lots of different things. People use it when they want to say that what you are feeling/deciding is good. "Infatuation" is a word that people use when they dislike what you are feeling, or the decisions you are making. 

But I will try to give my own definitions anyway.

Infatuation is when you can't think about anything else except for that person. There is not necessarily anything wrong with this. But it is dangerous if they are a harmful person. And it can interfere with other aspects of your life, by making it hard to concentrate at your job, for instance. Also, if the other person doesn't feel the same way, your infatuation can cause you to become an annoying pain to them, as you follow them around. It can also interfere with your judgement.

Infatuation can turn into mature long-lasting love. Or it can fade away. Infatuation is usually the first stage of romantic love.

When you have mature long lasting love, you are usually more aware of the other person's true feelings than when you were infatuated with them. You are better able to make decisions with consideration for what is truly good for the other person, instead of having all your decisions motivated by the need to be close to them. (But it's very nice when they like and love you too. If that's the case, the decisions that make them happy are probably ones that make you happy too.)

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